Some Funny Stories From This Weekend

• Friday at work, a two and a half year old girl was in my office. She is always in trouble! A mom was in my office to pay tuition for her son, Zach. Trouble said, "Zach my brother." "You don't have a brother," I said. She answered, "Uh-huh. My momma buy me one at Wal-Mart."
  
• Cousin's Son. Last night we were on our way to see a movie. We stopped by the ATM but Cousin couldn't remember which account from which to withdraw money. She was griping about leaving her paper with the account #s on it at home. Her 8 yr old daughter and 7 yr old son were in the back seat. Son voiced his opinion on how ridiculous it was that she could have done such a thing. "Thanks," she said. He answered, "Anything for an old... friend."
• Cousin's daughter called me yesterday. She wanted to know if I would like to go see a movie with her and her mom and her brother. They were wanting to see Ghost Rider. I said, "What's it about?" She said, "Nicholas Cage." She knew exactly what to say to get me to go. Did I mention that she's only 8?
• We were all pumped up for the movie. When we were about half way there, Cousin said, "Crap. I forgot to see what time the movie started." No big deal, we thought. When we got to the theatre, guess what... that movie is not out yet!
• We were at O'Charley's and had to wait for almost 45 minutes to be seated. While we waited, a local news-caster came in with his family. It was apparent that most everyone recognized him. As he walked to the hostess stand, Cousin said to sister, "I bet that little girl up there never watches the news and has no idea who that guy is." And sure enough, when it was his turn at the stand, the hostess said, "And your name is?" He looked so perplexed. We were huddled in the corner laughing.
• Today at church our pastor announced that our evening service would begin an hour early tonight due to the Superbowl. Then as a joke, he said that since we were starting an hour early, that meant that he had an extra hour to preach. Cousin loudly whispered to her husband, "That's not gonna convince people to come back tonight."
• I was visiting with family earlier today at the funeral home. My great-great-aunt passed away yesterday. One of my dad's cousins was talking to my mom about her two year old granddaughter. She goes to preschool, and thinks that her teacher, Miss Emily, hung the sun in the sky. Last week, a new boy named Cooper joined her class. He was a little upset his first day and Miss Emily had him in her lap for most of the day. Apparently, the granddaughter was jealous. She said, "Miss Emily, I made up a song. Do you want to hear it?" Of course Miss Emily wanted to hear it. Granddaughter sang, "Miss Emily... don't hold Cooper... in your lap... anymore." As a fellow daycare worker, we try to teach kids all sorts of things thru songs - the ABCs and 123s, colors, Bible stories, how to treat their friends and families, etc. I guess this time it back-fired on Miss Emily - Granddaughter assumed that since the song said it, Miss Emily had to do it.