Harry Hoovendecker: The Man Across the Hall

I'm not sure I stressed how scared I was while I was in the ER in the last blog. I was really scared of what was wrong with me. Then, I got freaked out because of where I was in the hospital. There was on old lady across the hall who had suffered a heart attack and had been in there since the previous night. Two things were going through my mind when I overheard that information. One, I don't want to be here that long. And two, OMG!!! She's had a heart attack... look at this room, it's not like the one Jeremy had when I had to bring him to the ER... I'm on the "serious problems" wing!!! What's wrong with me??? They think something is REALLY wrong with me. There again, I know I'm a drama queen, but that facts were right there. Just a few minutes later, the little lady was moved to a room. Not long after that, the cleaning lady was in and out and the room was ready for another patient.


Enter Harry Hoovendecker. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it. But let me tell you: this is a true story of actual events. The ambulance service brought in the next patient for the old-lady-heart-attack's now vacant room. Well dressed older man. White hair. Nice plum colored button up, black pants. The EMT told the registration lady that his name would not be in the Huntsville Hospital system because the gentleman was not from here. "Where are you from, Sir?" I am from ....... Or-a-Gon. As is Oregon. Only he put a hard emphasis on "gon." He did that the whole time he was there. "Why are you here this afternoon, Sir?" Because I want to be. "Your name, Sir?" Harry Hoovendecker. I really thought nothing of a weird name like that, since he hailed from Or-a-gon. Maybe they just had weird names in Or-a-gon. Oh well... they closed the door to his room and I faded back into my own little misery for a while. Until...

Enter Mrs. Hoovendecker. She barely stopped to breath when she got to his room. The rant went something like this: There you are! Do you know what a hard time I had trying to find you? The hospital didn't even have you listed. I kept saying 'My husband is here. Heath Parker.' Finally they found you under Parker Heath. That's not your name. They got it backwards. Why would that happen?
Wait... Stop... Did she say his name was Heath Parker? I looked at Hubs and said, "That's not what he told them his name was. He said his name was Harry something-or-other. It started with an 'H' and it was long and weird. She said his name was Heath Parker. He gave the nurses the wrong name!" Hubby didn't hear all that I had heard before, but he took my word for it. Then there was more.
And... they had your middle name wrong. How could they mistake Larry for Harry? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD THEM! I wanted to scream! I had the most awful time. But I got all that straightened out. There was a pause while Mr. Hoovendecker-Parker was speaking, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. But I heard the response. Keep in mind these people are in the late sixties, early seventies.
Because I pitched a fit inside the club. Had this all happened in the parking lot they wouldn't have cared as much. But I was screaming in the club. That's why they called the ambulance. They were afraid we would sue them. And just what were you thinking anyhow. I don't even know what you were thinking. Passing out like that. Well... I don't know why you passed out. Probably because you were overdoing it. You may have had too much to drink. You may have eaten too much. I don't even know how much you were drinking or what all you had eaten. Then there you were out on the dance floor showing out like that... Acting ways you haven't acted since you were 20 years old... What were you thinking? You can't just act like that if you haven't once done it in the past forty years! What were you doing? Trying to relive your youth? For Heaven's sake.
Finally she takes a short break, and Hubs and I are laughing hysterically.
Mrs.: "What was your blood pressure?"
Mr.: "175..."
Mrs.: "175!!! Oh my Lord!!!"
Enter nurse.
"OK, Mr. Parker, let's take your blood pressure."
Mrs.: "You mean you haven't done that yet? He just said it was 175 over something!"
Nurse: "No ma'am. This is the first we've taken it. Mr. Parker, are you just throwing numbers out there to scare your wife?"
More laughter from Mrs. Pence's room.

So later on, we heard him tell the doctor that his name was Harry Hoovendecker. Mrs. Hoovendecker heard it this time and scolded him all over the room. I wonder if Mr. Hoovendecker had suffered a slight stroke or something. Or maybe he has the onset of Alzheimer's or dementia. I certainly hope not. But the crazy nut sure made me laugh and got my mind off my troubles for a while.