24 Hours Later

It has been twenty-four hours since my last cigarette. Every time I say that phrase, I think of a Bon Jovi song "one last cigarette, the last cigarette, take it in, hold your breath, hope it never ever ends..." And yes, I was singing that song yesterday in my head when I was smoking the last one. I went a little more unconventional in my approach. Instead of thinking about starting the day without a cigarette, I concentrated on finishing the day without one. Basically, I quit in the middle of the day. I had about six in my pack when the day started yesterday. Originally, I had told Nonna that we would quit on Wednesday. What happened is that I smoked almost twice as much on Tuesday as I normally do. On Wednesday, I found it was just that much (pinching fingers together) too hard to start the day without one. So I just started the day with one, and the coffee and my book. I had another one mid-morning, another after lunch. Two while sitting outside chatting on Facebook with a friend, and then the last one when I got out of the shower around 3 o'clock yesterday.

And for the most, it went very well. In the car, on my way to meet Hubby, I would have normally chain smoked two cigarettes (I don't smoke with him or the kids in the car, but if they're not...). I didn't smoke any. Once, I reached for one, realized I didn't have any, admitted to myself that I was reaching more for habit than out of "want" so I turned up the radio and that moment was over. After dinner, I was ready for another one, but I had Princess with me. Any other time, I would have put her in the car and stood outside to smoke. Instead, I kissed Hubby good-bye (even though we were both headed home) and got in the car and left. No real problem there. Then last night, right before we went to bed, I didn't really want one, but I had this weird thing happen. I had this overwhelming feeling of desperation because I was about to go to bed without having any cigarettes in the house. It only lasted for a few seconds, but I was desperate there for a while. I told Hubby about it, and it was like just talking about it made the feeling go away. I fell fast asleep in no time.

This morning, I still went outside to watch Hubby leave for work. I took my book and my coffee outside and enjoyed my time. At that point, I really didn't even want one. After breakfast I did really want one. By then, the Princess and I were on our way to the grocery store. I had to munch on some gum to get through that one. When we got home from the store, we were having "school time" and there was one point where I had her occupied and all I could think was about going outside to smoke. But there were no cigarettes so I didn't. It was at that point when I saw my lighter sitting out where I normally keep it. Several more times over the next hour I kept eyeballing the lighter. Finally, I put it away. And now, I can't even remember where I put it!

I was already feeling the after-lunch crunch when my friend came over. We took care of what we needed to take care of, got caught up on everything since the last time we saw each other, and I had to pop some more gum. But I got through that one too. It's been 25 hours now. And I have gotten so much support from all of my blog readers and Facebook friends. Thanks to all of you!!! All of your wonderful Facebook comments came in right at the time I was having the worst of my cravings... You don't know how much your encouragement helped!!!

P.S. My mother-in-law apparently didn't think I was serious so she bought TWO more packs yesterday. She said that she hasn't smoked yet today but was fully planning on it since she got home. But she did say that since she's the only smoking buddy I have left, she won't smoke when I'm around. That's very cool of her I think.

***MY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT IS THAT I"M SELLING AVON NOW!!! EVEN IF YOU LIVE AWAY FROM ME, YOU CAN STILL BUY FROM ME! JUST ASK ME HOW!