A First Time For Everything

I had the most wonderful time at Six Flags on Saturday, but the travel and the adrenaline high took its toll on me on Sunday and Monday. Monday was worse than Sunday. I felt terrible! I almost didn't even go to work, but decided to tough it out and go anyways. At one point, though, I had to lay down on the couch in my office. Once I did, I couldn't manage to hold my head up. Finally, I got enough strength to get myself to the car, and I went home. I stayed in the recliner until I went to bed. I never did take a nap, but I never moved my head off the pillow either. Roommate and the kids went shopping and while they were gone, Sister called me. I was totally unprepared for the story that she had to tell me. Actually, "totally unprepared" doesn't even begin to cover it. I spent months waiting and hoping and praying that I would one day hear the exact things that she told me, but this far down the road, I had resigned myself to the fact that I never would. She was a little apprehensive in telling me her story. I think she was afraid that I would slip back into the same ol' routine, but she underestimated me.

Here's her story:
She had just finished coloring a girl's hair and was taking a break when she heard a loud truck pull into the parking lot. Then she heard a guy ask her boss if she (Sister) could cut his hair. She came out of the office and saw that it was Ex. As she began to cut his hair, she congratulated him on his new engagement. They talked of that for a time, and then he said, "Can I ask you a question?" Sometimes Sister is as bold as I am, "You can ask it, but this is my chair, and I have the right to refuse to answer it."
He laughed and said, "I know it's none of my business, but is your sister dating somebody?"
"Well... they're not dating exactly. They're just sort of taking their time and getting to know each other."
"I saw her with him about a month or so ago at The Depot. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that she would be dating again by now. I don't know why it surprised me. She's pretty and she's the sweetest thing I've ever met, of course somebody was gonna snatch her up. She probably thinks I'm the rudest guy ever because I barely spoke a word to her that day. I was just shocked. I couldn't do anything but stand there and stare for a minute. Finally I said 'hey' to her, but that was all I could ever do."
He asked a few more questions and Sister nailed him a couple of times. Ex's friend sees me every week at The Depot and hasn't seen me with Big since he changed jobs. Ex was fishing around to find out what the deal was and Sister told him just enough, without getting into any of the complications that make up the relationship between Big and me.
So here's where the story gets good. Ex began telling Sister that he hoped this guy was good enough for me, because I deserved the very best in the world. He went on about what a wonderful person I am, and how sweet I was, how much I had cared for him even though he didn't deserve it, and how I pushed him to want to be a better person. The problem, he said, was that he knew he didn't deserve my care or support, and he knew he could never be the kind of person that was good enough for me. He told her that he wanted to apologize to her for how he treated me and for what he put me through when we were dating. He also asked that she pass along his apology to the rest of my family, because he's always loved them and he wanted them to know that he was sorry for how everything happened. He said that of all the trouble and messes that he's found himself in over the years, that he's never regretted anything, including the stuff he did that led to him and his ex-wife divorcing, as much as he regretted the mistakes that he made with me. But, he knows that I'm better off without him. Sister told him that it might not hurt my feelings to hear all that from him. He said he had thought about it, and he didn't think that he could tell me himself now, but he figured I would get the message.
OK, so... WOW. It may have been because I was so physically weak and drained, or it may have just happened on its own. But as she told me all of that, the tears began to fall. Not a lot of tears, and I wasn't a sobbing mess. In fact, Sister didn't even know until last night when I told her, that I had been crying. Of all the crap that I have been through with Ex, and some of the other exes before him, I have never, and I repeat, NEVER cried over a guy. It's just not something that I do. I think it stems from watching in utter disgust as the girls I went to high school with cried and carried on over every little incident with a guy. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I have never been the one to cry a whole lot anyways. But I have never shed a single tear over a guy. There have been times that I was upset enough to cry, but I just never let go of all the emotions to let loose. By no means would I call Monday night a "letting loose" either, but there they were... tears over a guy. And of all the guys... it had to be him of course. I've thought about this since Monday night. The tears were not because I still miss him and am pining away for him. There was a time when I all I wanted was for us to be together forever - even when he was doing all this crap. But I have thought about this for a long time. If he walked in this room right now and said that he had broken up with his new girl and wanted me back... I wouldn't be able to do it. Maybe the tears were those of a victory. You know, "Ha! All this time I knew I was right!" Either way, it totally made my week to know that he recognizes how totally wonderful I am and what an idiot he is. Also, I think it's time I pass part of his message along to Mr. Big and let him know that I agree with Ex. I do deserve someone totally wonderful, and he's gonna have to step up to the plate or get out of the game.