The Big Encounter

Since I decided that I would no longer be dealing with Mr. Big and all the complications that he was bringing into my planet, I haven't heard from him a single time. He never calls on the weekends anyhow. Apparently, that's one of the "rules" for being involved with a guy who has a girlfriend; the girlfriend gets the weekends. Anyways, he hasn't called or sent me a text message all week. I have actually been kind of glad that I haven't heard from him, because it's much easier for me that way. If he was still calling, I'm afraid that I wouldn't be strong enough to tell him to get lost. So tonight I had to go to the grocery store for daycare groceries. I hate having to do that after work, but sometimes there is no other way around it. Usually, if I have to do it after hours, I drag somebody with me. Tonight I didn't bother because the list was quite short. In fact, I took my time. I tried on a couple of shirts (only got one of them), and ran into a girl I used to work with. Any other time, I would have just said "hello" and kept on going, but since I wasn't that rushed, I talked to her for a few minutes. When I got in line to check out (only one of the two lines they had open) I was right behind a man that I really don't like. I didn't want to get stuck talking to him, so I left the line and browsed through the greeting cards for a few minutes and then got back in line. As I was walking out to my car, I spotted it immediately... Big's truck. It's totally unmistakable, and the second I saw it, my mouth fell open. Before I even made it to my car, I was sending Roommate a text message to tell her what was going on. I was text-ing with her and watching his truck the entire time I was putting the bags in my car. I knew he was in the truck because the parking lights were on. It was all I could do not to walk my happy tail over there and lay into him. Assuming that "she" was in the store and that he was in the truck waiting on her, I decided not to do that. Instead, I stayed in my parking spot for the duration of a few more text messages with Roommate, then I drove to the gas station in front of the grocery store. As I parked, I could see his truck; and I could see her getting in it. I sat in my car for a few more seconds, then just as they were approaching the road next to the gas station, I got out of my car to go into the store. I didn't get a good look at her because she had her head down looking at something. He saw me though. We made eye contact for just a second before I gave him the look of death and turned my head as I went in the store. This all happened just an hour ago. Right now I am trying to sort through exactly what I'm feeling. Pissed off is the term that comes to mind. I don't know if I'm more pissed at him or at me. I'm going with him. I know I keep saying this, but he came looking for me. Remember? I was sitting there minding my own business one day and then found out that the "hot guy" paid for my lunch on his way out the door. What kind of guy does that if he has a girlfriend at home? I don't get it. And the next day when he called me, the first thing he asked me was if I had a boyfriend. No, do you have a girlfriend? His answer: Well, I was seeing this girl, but it wasn't working out. Jerk. In his world that response wasn't a "no" so therefore he wasn't lying to me. However, he did completely mislead me. Who wouldn't assume that that meant "no?" And then when he did break down and tell me that he had a girlfriend, he made it seem as if she was just this girl that he had been seeing and was no longer interested in, but couldn't get rid of. What a jackass! Of course, then I have to admit my anger with myself for continuing with the whole escapade as long as I did. It didn't take me a long time to figure out that things with the other girl were more serious than he had led me to believe, and I just kept right on. I'm not sure what I expected to happen in all of this. I never really thought that he would break things off with her for me. And, I was sure that if he did, that would have been almost the worst thing to happen between us because I would have made us both crazy always worrying about if he was cheating on me like he was her. So I can't quite figure out why I got so turned upside down about the Big encounter tonight. They say (whoever "they" are) that each person that comes into your world does so for a reason and that there's some lesson to be learned from the time you spent together. So what's the lesson? I learned several lessons while I was dating Ex, and have learned several more since we broke up. But what was the point of Mr. Big crashing into my world? I can't figure it out. The only lessons that I've learned are how to "date" someone who is involved with someone else, and those are lessons I didn't really need to know in the first place. Also maybe there is the fact that Cousin has been so pissed about the Big situation that she has all but refused to listen to any of it. I basically quit telling her about any of it because I knew it was making her more and more mad each time. So why didn't I just listen to her in the first place? Actually, when she first met him, when he was "good," the first thing she asked him was if he played cards. He said he didn't, and as soon as we left, she said, "This is not gonna work. He doesn't play cards and we just can't have someone who doesn't play cards." It was funny at the time, but her instincts were right on. (So, chic, I know you're reading this... Thanks for being my rock, and sorry I didn't listen to you! I love you!!!) Well... maybe one day I can figure out what all this was supposed to be about. When I was on my way back to work with the groceries, I called a friend and told her all that had just happened. It is her prediction that he'll call me in the morning. Would he really have the nerve? And if he did, would I answer it? It's too late and I'm too tired to figure it out now. I need to curl up with my book for a little while and then hopefully get a good night's sleep. I'll think about all this crap in the morning.